A New Beginning
by C8lynMilitia
Summary: Paige is the youngest and only female president in SOA history, but her club in Colorado forced her out without much explanation, leaving her to find a new home. When she calls up her dads best friend, Piney, Redwood welcomes her with open arms, but at what cost
1. A New Home

A/N

So this is a completely different spin on the show, some things following plot, some being my own story. Not really set anywhere specific, it's just a story I have been playing with for over a year or so and have never published anything more for the fact that I was scared and worried about the harsh criticism. But, I let one of my friends read some of it and told me I should publish it for the shits and giggles of it so here I am! lol It doesn't follow the "strict" SOA rules, but I'm working with it

The first chapter is going to be a pretty long one only because I wanted to get a lot of the back story in there, but none the less, I'm pretty happy with it so far and I hope you enjoy my wacky story lol

I do not own SOA, only my OC characters (The picture, though chopped off, represents some of my OC characters to give you an idea of who I am showing as them lol)

(Here we go)

The thought of me being here right now, in this situation, makes my blood boil. Thinking how I could have avoided this all. My thoughts are consuming me as I rev my Harley to go faster, driving down the interstate towards Charming. It had been a long 3 days of driving, going through Wyoming through Utah, Nevada and now California. It had never been my plan, you know, abandoning my club and taking off to another club.

I had become the first female president of a SONS chapter. I felt so proud, so accomplished, I felt like I was one of them and not some old' lady or croweater. I was also one of the first female patched members of a SONS chapter as well. My dad, Paul Kerr, was the President of the SAMCCO. He was so well liked amongst everyone, not just our club but other SONS clubs around. My dad swore that he would never allow me to get into any club business, ride a motorcycle, anything that had to do with the Reaper. I begged my brother to teach me how to ride a motorcycle because growing up around the club, I always wanted to be just like them. I was riding dirt bikes at the age of 12 and riding my first Harley on my 17th birthday. Reminiscing of the memory, I look down at my Dyna and patted her. If there was anything good in my life, it was this beast between my legs.

*FLASHBACK*

Once I was 18, I secretly had my mom make me my own patch and wore it around so I could feel like them. I would walk around town; people would look at me strangely because of the patch that was on my back. It seriously was one of the best feelings ever, feeling like I was important. Unfortunately, my dad caught wind of what I was doing and was dragged into the club practically by my hair.

"What the fuck are you doing? And what is that on your back?" I heard my dad yell at me as he slammed the door of the room with the table that had the reaper on it. My brother was already in there with one of the guys. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Daddy, I just want to be like you, like Brendon, like everyone here. I love being round you guys, I feel like I'm practically already a member." I sat in my dad's chair at the head of the table as he ran his hand through his hair, looking at my brother who could only shrug.

"This is your fault." my dad said, pointing at Brendon. All Brendon could do was laugh.

"I had nothing to do with this. It's in her blood dad. It always has been." Brendon sat down in the chair off to the side of me. I was fiddling with the gavel my father had used, trying to avoid any eye contact. I looked up to see my dad leaning on the table staring at me. I couldn't tell if he was mad, sad, or what.

"I know it's in her blood. It's in your blood too, son." he looks at Brendon then back at me. "But she's my princess. I could never forgive myself if anything happened because she was part of this club." I slam the gavel down as I stand up, leaning on the table looking back at him.

"I have been as part of this club as he has. I have always been there to bail you guys out when you needed it, stitch some of the guys up, even clean up after you slobs. I know the ins and outs of this club, what you do, finances, etc. Just because I am a girl, doesn't give me the right to be part of this club like you two are. If I have to prospect, I will, but I want to be part of this." I sit back down and lean in the big chair, never looking away from my father. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and sat in the chair across the table from me.

"Paige, there has never been a female patch member in SONS and I plan to keep it that way. The shit that we do can be really tough and intense. I don't want you getting involved in it, let alone having something happens to you because of it." I rested my elbows on the table and put my hands up to my lips. It seemed like I wasn't budging, but I didn't give up.

"Why don't you put it to a vote then? You can't make a decision like this without the consult of the hierarchy and club." I look over at Brendon who has just been looking at me and dad.

"She does have a point, dad. I mean, she's one tough cookie and has done a lot for the club and she knows how to shoot. Plus, any new members, male or female, has to be put to a vote." Brendon stood up and went and called for everyone. "HEY! Everyone in the chapel! We need to make a vote." he yelled through the clubhouse. I stood up and walked to the corner of the room while everyone piled in. I could see the worry in my dad's face when he walked to his place at the table. Brendon was not far behind as he sat at his spot and the rest followed suit. One of the prospects walked over to me.

"Your dad wants the 'kutte' that you made." he said holding out his hand. I shrugged the cut off and handed it to him, sticking my hands in my hoody pocket. The prospect handed the kutte to my dad who threw it out on the table.

"I have called this meeting because it has been brought to my attention that my _daughter_ would like to be a member of this club." As my dad said this, everyone looked right over at me. All I could do was wave. I knew all of them, pretty well actually. They have been practically my family since my mom died when I was little. "We have never had a female patch member, not in this chapter and no SONS chapter around. I was intending on keep it that way, but rules are rules and we need a majority vote if she were to come a full-fledged patch member" He said grabbing my cut and holding it for everyone to see.

"Aye." I hear my brother say. He looked at my father because the face my father had looks like he had seen a ghost.

"Aye." I hear come from Snoopy, which was the Sargent at Arms. I could see my dad's face get whiter and whiter as we went around the table.

"Aye." came from Derrick. My eyes widened more. _Holy shit, was this happening?_ I thought to myself.

"Aye." Came next from Luke. "Aye." came from Heathen. "Aye." next came from Leaf. I had majority vote. I started walking towards my dad and was stopped dead in my tracks.

"Nay." I hear Shawn say. Everyone looked at him in shock. No matter how many people were looking at him, his eyes never left me. "I agree with you Paul, I don't think it's a good idea. I know my vote doesn't mean shit, but I don't think this is a good idea at all." My dad nodded at Shawn and looked at me.

"Though I do not agree with this, it is a majority decision," he said as he grabbed my new cut. "You wear this with pride, dignity, loyalty and honor. You are now and forever bounded by the reaper." I leaned down and kissed my dad's head and threw on my new cut. "Meeting adjourned!" he said has he slammed the gavel down. I honestly could not believe it. I was the very first female patch member ever. Everyone congratulated me, including my father, even though I could feel he was still not happy about the decision. I saw in the corner of my eye Shawn walking out of the room so I decided to run after him.

"Hey!" I called to him as I saw him putting his helmet on. He turned to me with the most serious face I had ever seen.

"You got something to say?" was all he mustered out. I stood there with my hand on my hip.

"Do you have a problem with me or something? Did I do something wrong?" All he did was smirk.

"It's nothing personal Paige. Your dad made some valid points. I hope you know what you're getting into." then he put his sunglasses on and took off. I turned around and bumped right into Brendon.

"He'll come around, don't worry. This is new for all of us but you will be perfect for the club." he said throwing his arm around my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around his waist and walked back inside to celebrate.

*FLASHBACK END*

I stopped at the gas station to fuel up one more time before my final stretch to Charming. I wiped my eyes from remembering that memory, a memory of what seemed like good time. I was patched in 6 years ago today. The irony seriously killed me. Everything was going fine, the club was booming and we had no problems. My dad's vision was to slowly stop selling guns. Selling guns was killing people near and dear to us, putting others in serious danger. It was good money, but my dad wanted out. Once word got around that Paul Kerr was out, people were not happy at all.

*FLASHBACK*

One crazy night 3 years ago, my brother and I were out riding to grab some information from a couple Mayan guys as far as who was on board of us getting out of the gun game. Everything was a blur from here. A couple trucks came speeding around the corner and about 4 guys hopped out, charging at me and my brother. Brendon shoved me to the ground and the guys started opening fire. After what seemed like eternity, the guys hopped back into the van and sped away. I remember looking around, waiting for the smoke to clear until finally laying my eyes on my brother who was lying on the ground with bullet holes in his body.

"No. No. NO!" I screamed as I knelt down to him. He was cold, lifeless. I checked his pulse and there was nothing. My brother, Brendon Kerr, was dead. I looked over where the Mayans were standing and they were on the phone with someone. I looked back down at my brother and just started crying into his body. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up and saw Suarez, one of the Mayan's kneeling down handing me the phone.

"PAIGE! Are you ok?" I heard my father bellow through the phone. I couldn't get a word out between my uncontrollable sobs.

"Dad, he's gone." was all I could manage out as I handed the phone back to Suarez.

I leaned against my bike after fueling it up. That was one of two of the most painful memories that I have had to go through. I wiped my tears away, through my sunglasses back on and hit the road towards Charming. As I continued to ride, I continued to think about how I got here. I buried my brother a week after that mess. It was hard for the club to bounce back but we needed to. We were a strong family. We went about business like usual until the second major blow came to my family that changed everything.

*FLASHBACK END*

I was made VP after my brother died. Not many people were too thrilled about the choice but my brother always said, "If I die, you are next in line. You will replace me and then lead the club to bigger and better things." So I took his spot. I didn't want it, I didn't think I was ready, but when you're a SON, you never turn anything away. The gun sales had died down and we were finding other means to get money. It was quiet, but it was too quiet. Unfortunately, I was going to find out how quiet it really was.

*FLASHBACK*

Luke and I were getting some paperwork together for one of our side businesses when two of the prospects barreled into the club house. I grabbed Luke's arm because what came next I was not prepared for at all.

"Paige, you need to come with us. Something bad has happened." Rig said. I grabbed my helmet and hopped on the back of his bike. Rig led the whole pack of our club to a warehouse that was located on the outskirts of town. I hopped off the bike and ran towards of the building, swinging the doors open. I saw two cops standing over a body that was completely lifeless. I slowly walked over to see my father laying on the cold ground, multiple stab wounds and a bullet through his head. I dropped to my knees. I couldn't even cry, I couldn't move, I couldn't process what was in front of me.

Rig came down to my level and brought me into his arms. I couldn't even hug him back. I was so numb and shocked at the same time. I saw everyone hugging each other, looking at me.

"Miss Kerr, do you have any idea who would do this to your father?" one of the cops asked me. All I could was shake my head. I had no energy to say anything. The cops nodded back at me and continued looking over the scene. Rig and the rest of the guys led me outside. They all got in a circle around me, making sure I was ok.

"My brother is dead. My dad is dead. Whoever has done this, will pay. I will put my body on the line to find who did this." I said, seeing everyone nod in agreement.

"We need you more than ever, Paige. I know this is a tough time, but we need you as our leader, as our president. There is no vote that is going to be made." Luke said. The other prospect walked toward us from the warehouse, holding my father cut. I walked over to him taking it out of his hands. I took my knife out of my boot and took the president off my father cut, folding it after.

"We are a Family! We are a Unit! And united we will be!" I yelled holding the president piece that I just took off my father's cut in the air. Everyone yelled at the same time in agreement. All except Shawn who had been hidden in the shadows.

*FLASHBACK END*

I finally see the end of my journey coming near when I see the "Welcome to Charming" sign in the distance. I smiled a small smile knowing I'm finally here. After being appointed President, everything seemed to be ok. Burying your father and brother within 2 years of each other was extremely difficult, but taking over the responsibilities of being the President, let alone the first female President.

*FLASHBACK*

Things seemed good until I started hearing voices and rumors circling around the clubhouse, from hang arounds, crow-eaters, then a few times from my own men. It got to the point I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Everyone in the Chapel, now!" I yelled into the clubhouse. Everyone looked at me funny but they didn't disregard an order. Everyone filed in and sat at their respective spots. I had appointed Luke has my VP when becoming president.

"Is everything ok Paige?" Luke asked me worried. I leaned into the table looking down, and then back up at everyone.

"I don't know, is there?" I looked around at everyone. Some of them looked down, others were truly confused. "I walk around the clubhouse, my clubhouse hearing shit about me. People talking behind my back." I sat down, fiddling with the gavel like she had the same day she had been patched in. Then I saw Shawn stand up and cross his arms.

"Paige, we need back in with the guns. Our money is running low and the guns were giving us some good business." I shot him a look of disgust.

"Get back into guns? Are you mad? My brother is dead because of that shit. My father is dead because of that shit. You seriously want to get back into something that has brought more heartache to this club than anything?" Shawn gave me an icy look; I could feel his blue eyes piercing into me.

"The reason they're dead is because we tried to pull out!" he yelled at me. Everyone's eyes widened, including mine. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How fucking dare you! Who the hell do you think you are saying something like that!?" I could start to feel tears form in my eyes.

"You don't realize the shit that has been brought to this club since removing the gun trade. You, your old man and brother were so fucking oblivious to it. You were trying to make things better and all you did was made it worse." My eyes hadn't left his, no expression in either one of us.

"What are you saying then Shawn?" He sits down, looks down and back up at me.

"I'm moving to have you removed as President. I want a vote on it." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This is what everyone had been talking about. They were talking about my family behind my back, making accusations about the shit that has happened.

"Fine. Let's take a vote then." I said looking around the room. "This is a majority vote, no unanimous vote." I sit down in the chair, the chair that was my father's for years and years. I felt betrayed and upset. Why did it come to this? Why didn't we talk about it instead of this? I sat in silence as I saw the votes being casted. This was it. My demise. A demise that was completely out of my control. I looked over at Luke who was taking the tally. He looked down and back at me.

"6-4, in favor of the removal of Paige Kerr as President." I looked around the table. Some kept their head low; some were looking at me with sadness. I lost my brother, my father, and now my club, my family. I stood up and walked out of the Chapel, ran upstairs and filled my backpack up with belongings that I needed. I reached into my jeans for my cell phone and dialed the only person that would get me. Piney.

"Hey darling! How is everything going over in Colorado?" I sat back onto my bed with my head in my hand, the other one on the receiver.

"Piney, my club turned against me. They want back in with the guns trade and instead of talking to me about it, they talked amongst themselves, to the point they just voted me out." At this point, I can feel myself start to cry. "Piney, I don't know what to do or where to go. You were my dad's best friend; I didn't know who to turn to." I head Piney let out a deep sigh.

"Come to Charming, sweetheart. You know the boys here have always loved you as one of our own. I'll talk to Clay. There shouldn't be a problem. Then we can talk all about it." I sniffled back and agreed.

"I'll be there in a few days. Thank you Uncle Piney. You seriously are my last family. I don't know what I would do without you." I could hear him chuckle.

"You are like the daughter I never had; I will always be here for you until my last dying breath. I'll see you soon."

"You too. Bye." and I hung up the phone, throwing my phone into my pocket. I finished up packing my essentials, and walked downstairs. Everyone that had voted for me to stay was there waiting to see what's happening.

"Paige, are you leaving?" I heard Rig ask. All I could do was nod.

"You can't leave!" I hear Luke yell as he was running up to the group of people. I just shook my head.

"Luke, I cannot stay here any longer. I have just been voted out of my own fucking club, the club my father built with his hands. I love you guys and I'm grateful that you stuck by me, but once I'm voted out as a President, I am officially nomad. I cannot stay here." All of them looked to the ground. I started giving them all hugs goodbye. I took my knife out of my boot and stripped my patch of the "President". "Please take care of this place, make sure no one drags it to the ground. You all have my number; please call me if you ever need anything." I walked to my bike, threw on my helmet and looked back at my last remaining family left. My boys. I blew them a kiss goodbye and took off.

*FLASHBACK END*

Little did I know, that the moment I left, Shawn would be appointed the new president and not Luke. So that leads us to present day, riding my motorcycle, still with my Colorado cut, riding to Teller-Morrow to see my long lost Uncle and hopefully somehow start over with a new family. As I rode past the main street of this small town, everyone looked and smiled as I rode. SAMCRO was so appreciated here; it was a nice warm feeling knowing that this town felt safe with us, with them.

As I round the corner, I see the sign and realized that this is the time. I turn into the entrance and roll up to the line of bikes. I see a bunch of guys just hanging on the picnic tables outside. They looked at me funny, but didn't think anything of it. One of the guys ran inside to probably get Piney or Clay. Once I shut my bike off, I see a tall scruffy figure run up and hug and swing her around. Opie.

"Oh my god sister, you're actually here! I thought my old' man was playing games." Opie said with a smile. He let me down and I gave him a real hug.

"Nope, this time he hasn't gone senile, yet." I say laughing. I look over and see Piney walking out of the clubhouse, oxygen tank and all. I shook my head and ran over to him, giving him the biggest hug. I could feel his arms wrap around me, feeling that he really missed me.

"I am so happy you're here baby girl. You are finally home." I just buried my face into Piney's chest and started crying. He kept his on me until I saw in the corner of my eye two other men walk up behind us. One was an older guy, which had to have been Clay and the other guy was more around my age, slim and tall but had a build to him. I saw his blonde hair and blue eyes. That had to be Jax. He looked so familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I let go of Piney, wiping my tears onto my sleeve and looked up at Clay and Jax.

"So you're the little lady that has been holding down Colorado for some time now." Clay said has he taken a drag of his cigarette. I just looked up at him and nodded. He and Jax smiled at each other.

"Well, Piney told us the gist of what happened, why don't you come to our chapel and we'll discuss what we can do, ok darlin'?" I heard Jax ask. Again, all I did was nod. They started to walk inside their club house and I followed suit. Opie came around and rested his arm around my shoulders. With my 5'4" height, I was easily a foot shorter than him so it made it easy for him.

"Everything will be fine. You have family with us. No matter what happens, you're staying here." he said with a smile. I just leaned into him as we followed Clay and Jax into the clubhouse.

"Everyone in the Chapel!" I heard Clay bellow into the clubhouse. Everyone looked over and followed his voice. Opie and Piney led me into the Chapel, Opie grabbing a chair for me to sit on. I moved it to the corner, so I could have a good look at the table. One by one, everyone entered the room, with the last man closing the door behind him. I sat in the chair and crossed my legs, fiddling with my thumbs. Last time I felt this nervous was when I got voted in as a patched member. I saw all of them light a cigar, the smoke engulfing the room. _Oh how I missed this smell_ I thought to myself.

"I have called this meeting to order because we have a NOMAD that has entered our club, a NOMAD that had no control of her status." everyone started chattering at the mention of the use of "her". Everyone looked around the room and all eyes landed on me. I just stared at them, not saying anything. "Paige Kerr was the president of the Colorado Chapter, which was once, ran by her father, the infamous Paul Kerr." everyone's eyes landed back on me like they had just realized who I was. I just bowed my head to them as Clay had continued. "Now, I've known that there were non-believers of Paige's president skills and her abilities of being a SONS president, but don't underestimate her. She has the mind, body, soul and heart of her father. When she was in command, she did what her father wanted. Paul started trying to get out of the gun trade. It was dragging their club down, like it did with other chapters. Unfortunately, some people cannot remove themselves from the disease." Clay took a deep breath.

"We've been out of it for a few months and it was a rough road, but we've managed to keep ourselves busy without it and we have had no troubles. We can never be out of it completely, but it's mainly smaller organizations instead of dealing with bigger groups." Jax piped up. I continued to watch them debate. I wish my club, my old club, was this cooperative. Jax looked over at me and my heart completely stopped. He smiled at me and reached his arm out wanting me to walk over. Like an obedient dog, I stood up and walked over. He wrapped his arm around my waist as he stayed sitting.

"Paige, you were an amazing leader. Your views were views of your father. I know despite what happened your father and your brother are looking down on you, proud of what you accomplished with that club on your own. I am sorry, on behalf of SONS president's around what happened to you. Word has gotten around and majority is on your side, the majority that is out of the game just like us. You are just as much of a member of the SONS than anyone else, if not more," Clay said extending his hand. I leaned over and grabbed his hand and nodded, still feeling Jax's around my waist. I stood back up straight as I saw everyone smile. "This is why I am putting to a vote to invite you to join our chapter here at Redwood. I want you to have a family and know that you have one."

My eyes widened at his declaration. I felt Jax hold me closer, looking down at him, I could just see this boyish smile. I looked across the table, everyone smiling as well. This love was so warming, something I hadn't felt since my family was alive. I watched as everyone cast their votes. Not one nay was given, making the vote unanimous. Clay slammed his gavel, making the vote official. Everyone stood up and started hugging me and shaking my hand. I ran over to Piney, who was all smiles, giving him the biggest hug.

"You deserve happiness sweetheart," he said as I continued to hug him. "Clay is right, your father would be so proud of your accomplishments. For now, let's forget what happened in Colorado and get you settled in to your new home." I looked up at Piney and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you again, so much Piney." was all I could manage out as I looked over at Clay who was still seated with Jax. They both looked at me and smiled. I took my cut off and looked at the back, still displaying "Colorado". "I do have a favor to ask of you guys." I muster out to them. I lay my cut on the table, draped over the reaper that is carved in it. "This has been my cut since I was 18. It was custom made to me, by my mother before she left. I would like to continue to use it, instead of receiving a new one." Jax looked over at Clay, who looked like he was thinking about it.

"Because of the sentiment, I will allow it. I'll get one of the ladies out there to patch something together. For now, you can ride with one of the guys until they get it together." I smile and give Clay a hug. I look over at Jax and he's smiling ear to ear. I smiled back and walked out the Chapel. Opie took me into his arms.

"You have no idea how much my pops and I missed you kid." he said, leading me to the bar. I laughed.

"That's because your dad needs a woman touch around the cabin. I can only imagine what it looks like." I grabbed the beer from the bar, looking back at the chapel door. Jax's smile was haunting me, but in a good way. Opie clinked my beer with his, breaking my thoughts.

"Yea, well you know how the old man gets." I roll my eyes, shaking my head. Four other guys came over to join us. "Paige, this is Tig, Juice, Chibs, Bobby and Happy." he said pointing to each man. They clinked all of their glasses with mine.

"Welcome aboard, lil' lassie." the Scotsman said, tipping his head to me. I tipped mine to him as well. Bobby came right over and put his arm around me. He was about my height, just a little taller.

"It'll be nice to have a female aboard. First female Redwood member of SAMCRO. You look too sweet to be part of some motorcycle club." I swung my arm with my beer around Bobby's shoulder.

"The shit I've seen, makes the 'sweet' you see all an exterior coating. Believe me, this is the only life I know and I wouldn't trade it for anything." Happy and Tig laugh, and a short second after, everyone starts to join in.

"Do you have any new ink on you since the last time I saw you?" Happy asks. I remove my arm from Bobby, setting my beer on the counter, lifting my hoody above my head, showing my back. My back had two doves from shoulder blade to shoulder blade, looking like they're floating above the clouds with the sun peering through. The wings of the doves extended the lower part of my back.

"Each dove represents my father and brother. They're my doves in the sky, my angels." Happy nodded and smiled in approval. I straightened my hoody, grabbing my beer.

"Well, if you ever want more work done, lemme know. I'll hook you up." He said. I raised my beer and nodded my head. I walked away from them because a lot of the crow-eaters started to swarm, so that was my cue to leave. I walked over to my Dyna and ran my fingers across her gas tank. She had been my baby for 5 years, never breaking down, never giving me problems. She was a crimson red, unlike any other Dyna A SON rode. Being the only female patched member gave you some exceptions to the rules, especially when your father was the president. I set my beer on the picnic table and walked over to the ladder that looks like it leads up to the roof. Once on top, I sat sitting towards the sunset. California sunsets seemed to be the prettiest. Back in Colorado, the sunsets would be masked by the mountains, not allowing much of a view. I sat there, my knees to my chest, arms wrapped around my legs. I don't know how long I had been sitting there to not notice that there was someone sitting next to me. I saw in the corner of my eye the blonde hair.

"You stole my spot." Jax said, staring at the sunset with me. After a few short seconds, he looks over at me and smiles.

"I'm sorry; I just wanted to see the sunset from higher grounds." I looked at him and then away. Jax took a puff of his cigarette and offered it to me. Taking it, I took a drag, looking at the sunset. Beautiful, isn't it?" I asked taking another drag. I look at him and notice he's looking right at me, my heart skipping a beat."

"It really is." he said, his eyes not leaving mine. He leaned in, looking like he wanted to kiss me, but I turned away.

"Jax, I'm sorry," is all I manage out. I stand up, attempting to walk away, but he grabs my arm, dragging me down to his lap.

"Don't worry; I don't want to hurt you. One kiss, that's all I ask. After that, you can make your decision." I shake my head, but I cannot seem to stop looking at this man, a man I had just met literally 4 hours ago. My mind starts racing with thoughts, scenarios, what ifs. I shake my head, trying to get rid of them.

"Oh fuck it." I say and then I grab his face and kiss him. At first, I thought it was going to be a quick kiss, but this kiss turned into something bigger, something more magical. He grabbed my face too, deepening the kiss, feeling both of our hands wander through our hair slowly. After a minute, I pull away, panting practically over what had just transpired.


	2. New Life

A/N

I am sooooo sorry it took so long to update. Just to give you an insight, I have been writing this story for close to 2 ½ years. I already, according to word, have about 153 pages and 15 (longish) chapters' lol. What I am trying to do is go through, make sure that when I jump in time and such, that I have everything lined up correctly, spelling grammar, etc. I will try to update as much as I can, but know I just want to make sure that everything is "perfect" for you guys!

Thank you everyone for the follows and reviews so far!

Without further ado, here's chapter two!

**SOA**

I sat there on the roof looking at Jax. I just met this man officially just 4 hours ago and he's practically jumping my bones.

"Well then." Is all I can manage out. He looked at me and smiled.

"Yea, that was definitely something." I stood up and started walking to the ladder. "Where are you going?" he asked. I turned to him and shook my head.

"I'm super tired. Unless you forgot, I just rode from Colorado to California in 3 days, so I was going to relax a little bit." He stood up and threw his finished cigarette.

"I'll come with you. Show you around the club house and dorms." I just nodded and climbed down the ladder. I walked back into the clubhouse, grabbing my bag that I had thrown in the corner. Opie came over and gave me a giant hug.

"I still cannot believe you're here. How long has it been since you've been to Charming?" I wrapped my arm around his waist as we move towards the stairs. I see Jax go towards where the others were as Opie and I went upstairs. There was something about Jax that I couldn't put my finger on. I felt like I had knew him before but I wasn't sure where from. But part of me was attracted to him immediately. I mean, who wouldn't be. He was extremely sexy and he knew it. But did I even want to consider the possibility of starting something with someone, let alone the clubs VP? I shake my head as I look back up at Opie who is still smiling at me.

"It's been a few years, Ope. I've wanted to come over, just the last 3 years have been extremely tough with my brother and father passing." I trail off. We stopped at the top of the stairs and he gave me a hug again. I dropped my bag and hugged back, this time, I started uncontrollably crying. Thinking about my brother and father always hurt, no matter how long ago it was. I felt Opie caressing my hair, rocking me back and forth.

"It's ok, you're home now. You have family with us here in Charming." I wiped my eyes with my hoody and gave a small smile. He led me to a room down the hall, where he dropped my bag. "Well, this is it," he said leaning against the door frame. I looked around and sat on the bed. There was a desk in the corner, a closet right next to it and two end tables on either side. I looked over at Opie and he was smiling.

"Thank you again, for everything. It's still so hard to realize that this all happened, but it is what it is. I can't dwell on it." I hang my head low looking at my fingers. I feel the bed move next to me and an arm snake around my shoulders. I just naturally lean into his shoulder, taking in the warmth and comfort. I have never been this emotional, I always tried not to show weakness, but I feel like it has come to a point where I don't know how to be strong.

"Like a bad break up, they will realize that it's their loss. We got the treasure from their poor decisions and we plan to keep it that way." He gives me a squeeze and starts walking to the door. "Remember, if you need anything, I'm just a call away. Most of the guys are downstairs and I should be here a little longer. I think we're going to celebrate your patch in tomorrow night." He said with a grin. I nod and give a weak smile and with that, he leaves leaving the door cracked open. I lean back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. _This is home_ I kept thinking, almost trying to convince myself of that statement. I mean, this is home, right? I was with old family from before and getting to know new family. Also, being part of the SONS, we are all family no matter what. I can't help but hope that my old club was moving on without me ok.

I think back at all the good times I had with my boys. Luke and Rig were my go to guys after my brother and father's passing. They never had done me wrong once and always had my back. There is so much of me that wanted to take them with me here, to take them away from the poison Shawn was going to spill into that club. Because as much as I wish one of my boys was taking my spot over, Shawn has too many of them wrapped around his finger. Just then, I hear a knock at my door breaking all train of thought. I roll my head over and see Jax in the doorway.

"You can come in, just no funny business." I say jokingly. He chuckles and lies on the bed next to me. I look over at him and he has his hands behind his head staring at the ceiling.

"How do you like it here so far?" he asks breaking the ice. I prop myself on my elbow looking at him.

"So far, it's nice here. Everyone is so awesome and welcoming, reminds me of my old club. My dad always wanted to make sure everyone that walked into that club, member or not, felt welcomed and not threatened." Jax looks over at me, looking like he's trying to read my mind.

"You're family, even if you're from another charter; we would never treat you any differently than someone that has always been here at Redwood. Plus from what Opie and Piney have said about you, you're definitely going to be a great addition to our side of things." For the first time since I left a few days ago, I smiled a genuine smile. I sat up, wrapping my arms around my knees and looked over at where Jax was lying. I see his hair sprawled across my pillow, a cigarette in his mouth. In such a short amount of time, he has shown me so much care. I stood up and started walking to the door. "Where are you going now?" He asked with a look on his face like I was leaving and never coming back.

"I'm just going to go grab something to eat. I haven't eaten since I left Nevada and that was about 9 hours ago." I chuckle. He jumps up and follows me out the door.

"The diner that is right up the road is 24 hours if you wanna go grab a bite. I'll even take you, my treat." I look back at him, seeing him give me that smile. How could I refuse an offer like that?

"Sure, that sounds great. It'll help me recognize the town and get used to things around here." I say as we walk past Chibs, Tig and Juice.

"Ay, where are you lad and lassie heading off to?" Chibs pipes up.

"We're heading to the diner for a bite to eat. You guys wanna come?" Jax asks. Without and answer, we see the whole club house pretty much stand up and follow us outside. I go over to my Dyna to hop on, but Jax grabs my arm. "You must be tired from riding, hop on my bike." He says. Ride bitch? It's been so long, but it would be a nice change. I nod, grabbing my helmet, following Jax to his bike. His Dyna was a slick back with the light cover on the front, rounding the front of the bike out. I hop on the back, looking down the line as everyone got on their bikes. I can only imagine the looks people will get when we pull into this diner with 8 bikers. I chuckle at the idea, and I see Jax look back at me. "You ready?" he asked behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and nodded.

"Let's go get something to eat." I say with a small smile on my face. He smiles back and turns on his bike. I lay my head on his cut, laying it on the reaper. Before my brother taught me how to ride, I would always ride on the back of my brothers or father's bike. I always said I felt safe knowing the reaper was there to save me. That feeling has never gone away, no matter where the reaper was from. As we pulled into the diner, as I suspected, everyone was looking out the window like the circus had just come into town. Jax stops his bike and kicks the kickstand. "Does this happen often?" I ask as he helps me off the back.

"Yea, pretty much. You would think after so many years of us being in town that they would get used to it." We both laughed. I set my helmet on the seat and start walking into the diner, Jax swinging is arm around my shoulders. I looked up at him smiling. I was just going to go along with this and let it ride out, I thought to myself. When we all walked in, we grabbed our seats at the booths, acting like rowdy kids. I slid into the booth, sitting by the window, Jax and Opie following suit. Chibs and Clay sat across from us. Jax nudged into me, putting his arm around me again. I looked up and smiled.

"I talked to one of the old ladies that hangs around. She said she will have your cut finished by tomorrow so you can wear it again." Clay says as he sips his drink. I can't help but smile.

"That's awesome news. I feel naked without it." The waitress came over and grabbed our orders between the two booths we had taken up. As we're sitting, talking away, I feel by phone buzz and I see its Rig. "Hey, I have to take this. I'll be right back." Jax and Opie move out of the booth as I make my way outside.

"Hey Rig! How are you?" I say, finding a wall to lean up against.

"Paige! Oh my god, you're alive! Luke and I have been waiting for you to call. We were worried sick." I looked down at the ground. If there was anyone that I missed was Luke and Rig. They were my ride or die guys and I felt so guilty that I left them.

"Yea, I'm good. I went out to see my Uncle in Charming. He and his son are really my only family left." Just then, I hear a voice come through the phone that was not Rig's.

"You went to Charming? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you joining their charter?" I hear Luke ask. I started pacing, not sure how to break the news.

"Luke, you know I was made NOMAD the moment I was voted out. I had nowhere to go. Being part of the SONS has always been in my blood."

"I know it is Paige, I just wish you didn't leave. It's only been 3 days and I and Rig are already thinking about going NOMAD ourselves. Shawn is a horrible leader. He's already running us like monkeys." I laugh at the last comment, but realize how they're feeling.

"I didn't want to leave and I know you guys amongst others, voted for me to stay. I wish I have had more control over the situation before this happened. And to know that Shawn was voted in as President instead of one of you guys," I hear myself trail off. I leaned against the wall and slide down it, sitting on the ground. "I feel like I failed my father, Luke. I feel like if he was here, or even my brother, this would have never happened." I feel my eyes start to well up with tears. I flipped my hood up so no one could see my face.

"You did everything you could, girly. You were an amazing leader. You were leading us to the right path. People are greedy, you know that. Shawn never once liked you being patched into the club, I have a hunch that he plotted this all. I'll have to talk to you about it another time. Can we call you tomorrow?" Luke asked. I wiped my eyes of the tears.

"Yea, just give me a call tomorrow. I hope you both know I love you, so much." I hear Luke start to say something but Rig comes on the line.

"We know and don't you ever forget we love you too!" I chuckle, sniffling back.

"Ok, ok. I'll talk to you guys later." And I hung up the call. I rested my arms on my knees and leaned in. I didn't realize how long I had been sitting there because I looked up and saw Jax standing over me.

"You were out here for a long time and the guys were getting worried, I was getting worried." He said as he knelt down, placing his hands on my knees. I looked up at him, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"I'm ok, that was just one of my boys from home. They were worried about me and where I was." Jax extends his arm out and helps me up off the ground. "I feel like I've failed them, Jax. I failed my guys, I failed my dad, and I failed my brother." Jax grabs me and pulls me in. He moves my hood down and starts caressing my hair.

"You didn't fail Paige. You did everything in your power to keep that club in your control." He said as I felt him kiss the top of my head. I stepped back and looked at him.

"Thank you. It's going to take some time for me to accept that, but thank you." Jax just smiled a Jax kind of smile.

"Let's head back inside. Our food is probably there." I smile and nodded. He swung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. I wiped my eyes one more time before we walked back to the booth. The waitress was just placing our dishes on the table so we made it back in time. Opie looked at me funny when I moved back into the booth, but he didn't ask anything. We all ate our food, cracking occasional jokes. Though this feeling was a good feeling, it still felt a little weird experiencing this with a whole new club. I looked around and saw Jax and Opie laughing at something Tig and Bobby said behind them. I saw Clay laughing with Chibs. I felt weird not laughing, but I was smiling. _That was enough, right_ I thought to myself. After we were done eating, we all headed back to the clubhouse.

I hopped onto Jax's bike, wrapping my arms around his waist. Today has been so overwhelming; I started crying into his cut. I tried so hard to keep it in, but for some reason, I just couldn't keep it in. When we pulled into the lot at Teller-Morrow, I hopped right off of Jax's bike, and ran inside. I didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak, but seriously, who has gone through the shit I have gone through at the age of 27. I slammed the door behind me into my room and stared right into the mirror. I looked at my face, all blotchy from crying, my green eyes dark, and my cheeks red. I put my hood back on, hiding my brown hair, jumping right onto the bed. I lay, facing the wall trying to hide away from things. I have never been this emotional, ever. It freaked me out a lot because this wasn't me. But really, not many people have had the shit that has happened to me within 6 years. I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear my door open because I felt the bed beside me move.

"Leave me alone." I said quietly. Instead of them leaving, the person moved closer to me, feeling an arm wrap over me, pulling me closer.

"Just because the bike is loud, don't think I didn't hear you crying into my back Paige," Jax said. I curled up into a ball more, moving more into his body. "Don't shut us out, don't shut me out. We're here to help you as much as we can. You've been through a lot of shit. Promise me that if you're feeling low, come talk to me." Ok is all I can manage out. I feel him kiss my hair and with that I drift off to sleep.

**SOA**

I wake up feeling more refreshed than I have in the past few days. It was the first time I had not slept in a hotel but in a bed that I felt was home. I start to try and move and realized that Jax was still in my bed with me; his arm slumped over my chest. He looked so peaceful sleeping. I lightly moved his arm and climbed out of bed. I went downstairs to see Piney and Bobby with a woman that looked to be in her late 40s.

"Hey baby girl!" I heard Piney exclaim. I see Bobby and the woman look over at me smiling.

"So this is the infamous Paige Kerr." I hear come from the woman.

"I'm sorry, you have me at a disadvantage." she just laughs.

"Oh, of course sweetie. I'm Gemma Teller. I'm Clay's wife and Jax's mother."

"Also the mother hen of this place," Bobby chimes in. "Without her, we'd all be dead and this place would burn to the ground."

"Yea you could say that." She says as she laughs, taking a drink of her coffee. I grab a seat at the bar with them. "You want a cup of coffee sweetheart?" I nod, smiling at her. Gemma reminded me a lot of my mom when she was around. She left us when I was about 13, when my brother was prospecting with the club. She couldn't handle the club and my father and now brother being part of it. The club was in the guns trade at that time and things were getting crazy. She threatened to take me with her but she left in the middle of the night, leaving the three of us behind. "Does anyone know where Jax is? He didn't come home last night."

"Right here ma." I spun around and saw him. He was walking towards the bar, just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. "I crashed here, was too tired and didn't want to ride home." He smiles at me and walks right to his mom, kissing her on the cheek. I miss that kind of relationship him and his mom have. I took a sip of my coffee, hopping off the bench.

"I'll talk to you guys in a bit. I'm going to go check over my bike. Taking the journey that I did, she's in some need of TLC." I walk over and give Piney a hug.

"Well holler if you need anyone to help ya baby girl." He says as I start walking to the door.

"You got it Uncle Piney." I smile back at him, and walk outside. Stepping outside, I completely forgot the California weather and how warm it was already. I slide off my hoody and threw it on the picnic table. My Dyna glistened in the sun, showing off her deep red color. I kicked up the kickstand and rolled it over to the garage where I saw what looks like Happy working on a car.

"Hey Happy. You got any spare tools you may be able to lend me? I just want to tune up my girl here." He looks over and smiles.

"A girl that rides a bike, in a motorcycle club and can work on bikes? How are you not taken yet?" I laughed at him as I took the tools from his hand.

"Funny thing is not many guys are attracted to a girl that is like a guy." He stands up and looks me up and down.

"Are you sure they're looking at you? You have the figure that girls would die for, your hair is long, and excuse me but you have some other assets. They're just not real men." I gave Happy a kiss on the cheek.

"I appreciate it Hap. Maybe one day I will find that someone." I throw my hair up and walk back over to my Dyna and start looking her over. I probably spent 45 minutes tuning everything up, detailing her and making sure there was nothing wrong. I was so concentrated in the work I was doing that I didn't realize that most of the club house had been watching me. I rubbed my hands on the front of my jeans and walked over to everyone.

"Where did you learn how to fix a bike like that?" I heard Clay say through the crowd of people. "That motor sounds amazing."

"Between my father and my brother, they taught me over the years and some of the guys too." I looked around and saw people smiling. I looked back at my bike. "That bike was built from the engine up. She's my baby. Paint job was done by one of my friends back in Colorado, a nice deep red with a pearlescent." Gemma comes over to Clay's side and takes a drag of her cigarette.

"You know, one of the guys bailed on us here. If you want, you can take his place here at the shop; earn a little money while you're here." My eyes widened. Only been two days since I've been here and I'm being offered a job.

"Absolutely! I love working on bikes and cars. Thank you Gemma." She smiled and nodded at me. I walked back inside to see Opie and Jax talking at the bar.

"Hey baby girl! Just saw you working on your bike. She sounds amazing." Opie said as he walked over to me, giving me a big hug.

"Yea, taking the trip from Colorado to California, she was sounding a little tired so I tuned her up a bit." I grabbed the nearest rag and started rubbing my hands to get the grease off.

"Should have you look at mine sometime." Jax looks over at me and smiles. I throw the rag at him and laugh.

"Anytime Teller. Just let me know. I'm going to head up and take a shower; I got a little dirty and yucky." I start to walk over to the stairs when I hear Opie call my name.

"Paige, by the way," I turn around and he throws something at me. It's my cut. I unfolded it and that's when it all hit me. The Colorado was replaced with California; a SAMCRO rocker was on the front and 'Redwood Original'. Opie walked over to me holding something else. "Clay asked them to keep the Colorado, just in case you wanted it." He said handing me the old Colorado rocker. I give him a hug.

"Thank you." Is all I can say, and I run upstairs. Before I go to the bathroom, I walk to my room, throwing my cut onto the chair. Sitting on my bed, I look down at the rocker that is lying in my hands. Did I want to keep this? I thought to myself. I placed the Colorado rocker on the dresser and walked to the bathroom. The hot water felt so nice running down my body and through my hair. As weird as it sounded, but taking a hot shower made me feel like I was at home again. After my shower, I went to my room to change. I remember Opie saying they were going to throw a party for my patch in so I stood in the mirror, thinking of what to wear. I slipped on a pair of jeans with my ankle boots, throwing on my long sleeve shirt with the holes in the thumbs and a light hoody. I looked down at the chair where my cut laid. I looked back at the Colorado rocker that I laid on my dresser. I picked it up and kissed it before hanging it on the wall over my bed.

"Hey! Are you coming back down?" I heard a raspy voice come from my door. I laughed hearing Happy.

"Yea just a minute. Just finishing getting ready." I call back to him. I hear him scoff and walk away from the door. I go back to the chair where my cut was laying. I finally picked it up and slid it on, taking one good look in the mirror. The cut had been custom made by my mom. Though she never wanted me in the club, she made it because she knew me; she knew this is where I would land. I turned around and saw the California rocker and smiled. My new family. After taking a deep breath, I left my room and headed back downstairs to where everyone was congregating. The first person to see me was Opie who was at the bar talking to Piney and Jax. I just see this big grin come across his face and he strides to me.

"You look damn good baby girl. That cut looks good on you." he said as he kissed my forehead. Opie led me back to the bar where I saw the same smile on Piney's face.

"It's official. You are now a Redwood Original. So proud of you baby girl and everything you have done." he said handing me a beer. I smiled and nodded back. Jax turned and looked at me.

"Looking good darlin'." He said clinking our beers. I took a swig looking around the clubhouse. Some of the sweet butts were already hanging around some of the members. I saw some of them playing pool, some of the playing darts and some just chilling on the couches. No matter what charter you were from, nothing every changed. I laughed and shook my head. I see Clay emerged from the office in the corner of the room with Gemma in tow.

"Are you ready to party?" Clay said raising his beer. I smiled and raised my beer to his.

"As ready as I'll ever be. If your parties are anything like what mine were like back home, I know it's going to be a good time." A few more members emerged laughing.

"Oh sweetheart, you're in for the ride of your life." Tig said swinging his arm on one of the sweet butts. I laughed and shook my head.

"Oh this is going to be an interesting night." I turned back towards the bar and saw that Piney was replaced by a Crow-eater. "Can I get a whiskey." she nodded as she started filling the glass up, handing it to me. I downed the whole thing, handing it back for a refill. Sure as hell going to definitely be a long night, I thought to myself, downing the second glass of whiskey. I'm not known for getting crazy but when the party is in my honor, who am I to disappoint.

The night continued and the clubhouse started to fill in. Some surrounding charters were there celebrating. They had known of me and some I had met in the past. I had taken the bottle of whiskey and began to drink straight out of the bottle, having some fun. I wasn't the only one getting drunk. I saw Happy and Juice sitting on the couch with a couple sweet butts, so I took it upon myself to squeeze my way in.

"Heyyyy boyyysss." I slurred out plopping on the couch. Juice and Happy looked at me and laughed.

"Paige, are you ok?" Juice asked swinging his arm around me. I looked up at him, but it looked like I had seen 2, maybe 3 of him moving around.

"Ohhhh, I'm finnne. Just having fun at the party!" Juice looked at Happy and shrugged. I looked over at Happy who was taking a swig of his beer. "Happy, cannn I ask you something?" he gives me a look and nods. "You've been around a lot of different charters, being Nomad and all. Do you think I was a good president?" Juice leaned and looked at the both of us. I saw in the corner of my eye Happy wave him off to leave, but I wasn't sure. Then I feel Happy's arm swing over my shoulders, bringing me closer and kissing my forehead.

"You were an awesome President. I don't typically give compliments, so don't tell anyone. Colorado, aside from Tacoma, was my favorite place to visit. The vibe you guys had going on over there was amazing. It felt good to be welcomed, even as a Nomad," I leaned forward and put the whiskey bottle on the table in front of us. I feel Happy grab my arm and bring me back to the couch. "You can't blame yourself for that shit, kid. You did everything you possibly could to keep that club from going under. Nothing you can do now." I looked at the "Tacoma Killer" and smiled at his words. He was right; I can't keep beating myself up for this.

"Thanks Hap. I definitely needed to hear that. It's going to take time, but thank you for saying that." For a second, I could have sworn I saw a smile from Happy, but I shook my head and stood up. Almost forgetting that I had downed three fourths of a bottle of Jack, I almost fell flat on my face. I felt an arm grab me, only to see it was Jax. I started laughing as he helped me up.

"Had a little too much to drink, darlin'? He asked, staring at me with those eyes.

"Yeaaaa, mayyybbee." He shook his head hearing me slur my words.

"Come on, I think the party is over for you." he says wrapping his arm around my shoulders, trying to stabilize me. Unfortunately, my legs had another plan as I start to stumble. I fall flat on my ass, dragging Jax down with me. I start laughing because of how funny Jax's face was when he landed on the ground too. He looks over at me laughing and shaking his head. Once he helped me up, he led me to the back where the dorms are. I could see that we were not going to the room they designated to me.

"Jax-" is all I manage out before I'm bolting to the bathroom. I could feel the vomit making its way up the entire time we were walking, but I could not hold it in. As I start vomiting into the toilet, I feel my hair pull back. I look over and see Jax kneeling down, holding my hair with a look of concern on his face. After a few more heaves, everything goes black.

**DREAM**

 _I hear gun shots as I am lying on the ground. As I look over, I see my brother drop to the ground, with a blank stare on his face. I crawl over to him crying uncontrollably, shaking him trying to wake him up. I look up and see Shawn standing over me and my brother's body. I see Shawn take out his gun and point it to my head._

 _"This club is mine." he says as he cocks the gun back._

**DREAM**

I jolt up from the bed, panting like crazy. I feel myself in a layer of cold sweat, trying to catch my breath. _Holy shit, it's just a dream_ I thought. That felt so real. At that point, I can't control my feelings and start balling my eyes out.

"Hey, darlin'. What's wrong?" I hear from beside me. I look over and I see a sleepy Jax rubbing his eyes, reaching for my arm. I look down and see that all I have on his a SAMCRO t-shirt and my underwear on. I look over at the clock and it shines bright saying 3:30am.

"Yea, it was just a bad dream." I looked over at him and he patted the bed behind me. I lay back down, resting my head on his chest, moving my arm over his mid-section. I felt his other hand under my neck, caressing my hair.

"Do you want to talk about it? Must've been some dream for you to wake up the way you did."

"Maybe later. I don't even want to think about it." I nuzzled into his chest, feeling his warmth. 3 days and this is the safest I have felt since my brother died. Just as I felt myself drifting back to sleep, I felt him kiss my hair and run his fingers through it. That alone confirmed everything I was feeling and I went back to sleep with a smile on my face.


End file.
